The Unseen Stream - My Name Change Story

The Gentle Work Beneath the Surface

I have a CD entitled The Unseen Stream by Troy Donockley. Being an instrumental album, it can be difficult to determine what the artist meant by that title. I think of the unseen stream as being the gentle ever-flowing work of the Holy Spirit. Although his work is gentle, almost unnoticeable, it has much power and is very effective in its purpose.

The Changing Rhythms of His Work

There have been times in my life when the work of the Holy Spirit was visible, not only to others, but to me as well—more like a raging river, cutting out new places both wide and deep. However, I am in a time when the work is silent and almost invisible. Many people are very familiar with this. It seems boring and at times like God is not really present at all. It is true that as we grow older in relationship with the Father we learn to trust whatever He chooses to do, both in the bold and in the weak seasons. So, I too am growing to relax in this super-quiet time.

Dormancy, Deep Roots, and New Life

I like to speak of the changing of workings of the Lord as seasons because it so accurately describes something true of nature as well. To be in a fall and winter season, means to be in dying and dormancy, a time when roots grow deeper into the soil. Spring is for newness and summer, I suppose, is for steady growth and renewed purpose. 

Two years ago, I sensed a change in seasons. My, then usual, clear and beautiful experiences of receiving communication from the Holy Spirit began to slow dramatically. I reverted to having to just stand without receiving reinforcements in my mind or in my spirit. It began to be a proving time for me—fall was setting in; leaves were falling and roots slowly growing deeper. I began to think about things like holiness (being set apart from the rest just as God is). A few weeks later, thankfulness began to rise within me more than had before.

From then, concepts of dying and death began to enter my thoughts. Because I did not know why the thoughts were there, I began to wonder if God were going to call people close to me home. This never happened. 

The Early Prayers That Pointed the Way

Before I go on from here, I need to set the stage. In the early 90s, I received an invitation to spend a few hours receiving prayer from a friend concerning my struggle with my identity, same-sex attraction and pornography addiction. I invited a close family friend to join us; she serves as a witness to what I’m about to say. During that time, they felt led to pray Joseph-of-the-Old-Testament-type prayers. At separate, random events following that first meeting, this prayer theme would arise in prayer on my behalf. Each time I heard the prayer, I would try to understand why it was being prayed. The understanding never came. 

On February 20, 2002, my home-group pastor prayed for me and mentioned that I would be like Joseph in that I will be remembered for my stripes (I guess meaning both the coat and the wounds). When he said this, I interrupted the prayer with a giggle and exclaimed that “God had done it again!” He had used another unknowing person to describe me as a Joseph. As a testament to this fact, the friend who was at that first prayer meeting was there that night too.  

The Moment Everything Shifted

The next night, during the ministry time in our support group at First Stone Ministries, I felt as though I should stay at the alter (which is a large free-standing cross) longer than I had planned to. It was there that I heard the Lord say to me, “I want you to wear the name I have given to you.” While he spoke this to me, I could see him in front of me pulling the lapels of a garment more firmly around my neck. It was a wonderful thought, but I told him I didn’t want to do it. His reply, “You’re not doing this for yourself but for me.” I then said, “but I like my name.” Again, he gently replied, “I know, but you are doing this for me.” It was such a bold request by Him that I, an introvert, felt like I needed time to process this out in silence (and at home). The leader of the meeting asked for testimonies of what God had done at the cross.  I said in my heart, “It’s too sacred to say anything about it tonight.” God had other plans. After a brief period of silence from the crowd, the leader said, “Is it too sacred to share with the group?!” I knew then and there that God intended for me to speak it out. I told them the entire story and ended it by awkwardly saying, “I guess I’m asking you to begin calling me Joseph from this night on.”

The date of this night was exactly 12 years¹ from the date on which He used Ezekiel 36 to promise to bring me to anew land and to give me a new heart. After February 21, 1990, I wept many a tear crying out to God about whether this promise could be true of me at all.

I shared this news with my parents and received their blessing to follow the Lord’s leading. We agreed in prayer that if God wanted it to be a legal name change, then he would make the way very clear.

On July 11, 2002, I learned that an attorney friend would provide the legal expertise and waive his usual $300 fee to do it! It was a random conversation that connected the dots together to make this need known. I wanted my legal name to contain a remnant of who I was along with a declaration of who God says I am, so later that fall, my name changed from Cory Joe Thiessen to C. Joseph Thiessen.

Destiny Hidden in a Name's Meaning

Cory means ravine dweller. To me, it signifies where I was raised physically (there are two creeks on either side of my parent’s farm) and where most of my sinful expression took place. Joseph means Jehovah increases/provides. It means that He is increasing in my life and that He is my provider. 

The thought of changing my name was very difficult, especially the first two weeks. I cried at the mention of Joseph. I felt as though I were dying. God was saying that it’s time to live as the person I have been calling you to be, a person full of Jesus. It’s time to put away the old man. I suppose the dying is not over. With all the interesting changes in my life, there is a strange deadness within and/or around me. He is up to more than I know. Recently, I felt as if I were going crazy (as if I know how that feels). I was in church and in my head, I said, “I must be beside myself!” In an instant, I heard the Holy Spirit say, “No you’re not.  You are beside me!”   I chucked and sat quietly with steady assurance that He is at work even when I cannot feel it or when I cannot see where I am going.

Love, Loss, and Identity

There is one more thing about my name change that has been difficult. In 2005, my sister’s youngest son was killed in a four-wheeler accident. His name was Joseph. His death created so much pain for our family that they found it difficult to call me by the name God had given me. Instead, they call me CJ. The other painful part for me is that sometimes my family introduces me as CJ when I prefer to be called Joseph. I respect their pain and don’t make an issue out of it. Whether those closest to me can declare God’s name for me or not, doesn’t change who He says I am coming to be. In Him I will rest.

Lately, I have been captivated with the concept of bridges. The Lord reminded me that the old bridge on the farm was being torn out and that a stronger straighter one was being put in its place.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. NASU

I feel that just as Joseph was a bridge of preservation for his family, I too will find that God uses me, whether public or private, as a bridge of preservation and healing for whomever He puts in my ministry path.

His Hidden Hand in My Story

Because of my outlook on life and how I lacked direction and vision for myself, I felt as if I would be stuck to live out my days on the farm. I wanted a clean break from it but could not see past my own limitations. All along, God had a plan for me and a way in which I could walk out of personal bondages unto freedom. I wouldn’t have ever said the farm was bondage but I’m grateful that God opened the door for me to spend out a large portion of my life serving First Stone Ministries (FSM). 

How he opened those doors is humorous to me. I must share it. 

In 1998, I had just graduated from college with a degree in business. I chose that degree because I knew I needed a good degree but lacked purpose and vision to know what to seek out for employment. A year prior, I began receiving ministry for myself from FSM. Over that year, I spent little time in their office and more time in their support groups at another location. Once I had graduated, I came to Oklahoma City looking for businesses to apply for. At about 4pm I said to myself, “Since businesses are about to close for the day, it would be best for me to do something else. I haven’t been to FSM in a while; I will go and see if I can serve them by vacuuming or dusting their offices.”

I walked into their reception room and in plain view was Stephen Black, then Co-Director of FSM. He asked me what had brought me in. I explained that “I have been in the city looking for work and wondered if you had anything for me to do.” 

He replied, “As a matter of fact, I just drew up a job description for Office Administrator. Do you think you could do that?”

My reply, “No I meant that I came to vacuum or dust.”

From there, he invited me to look over his list he created. This is how I came to work at FSM. 

Unseen Streams Feed Deep Roots

There truly is an unseen stream feeding my roots in this seemingly dormant and dead season. I am thankful that He has many physical pictures that serve to give credibility to His mysterious workings within and around us. 

I leave you with the promise He gave to me back on the night of February 21, 1990…

Ezek 36:24-36

"For I will take you from the nations, gather you from all the lands, and bring you into your own land. "Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. "Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. "And I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will be careful to observe My ordinances. "And you will live in the land that I gave to your forefathers; so you will be My people, and I will be your God. "Moreover, I will save you from all your uncleanness; and I will call for the grain and multiply it, and I will not bring a famine on you. "And I will multiply the fruit of the tree and the produce of the field, that you may not receive again the disgrace of famine among the nations. "Then you will remember your evil ways and your deeds that were not good, and you will loathe yourselves in your own sight for your iniquities and your abominations. "I am not doing this for your sake," declares the Lord GOD, "let it be known to you. Be ashamed and confounded for your ways, O house of Israel!"

'Thus says the Lord GOD, "On the day that I cleanse you from all your iniquities, I will cause the cities to be inhabited, and the waste places will be rebuilt. "And the desolate land will be cultivated instead of being a desolation in the sight of everyone who passed by. "And they will say, 'This desolate land has become like the garden of Eden; and the waste, desolate, and ruined cities are fortified and inhabited.' "Then the nations that are left round about you will know that I, the LORD, have rebuilt the ruined places and planted that which was desolate; I, the LORD, have spoken and will do it."  NAS

 

1.     The meaning of 12, which is considered a perfect number, is that it symbolizes God's power and authority, as well as serving as a perfect governmental foundation. It can also symbolize completeness or the nation of Israel as a whole.

http://www.biblestudy.org/bibleref/meaning-of-numbers-in-bible/12.html

 

Joseph Thiessen lives in Oklahoma City and has been working for First Stone Ministries since June 1998. To learn more about Joseph and his work at FSM, please visit www.josephthiessen.me.

© 2008 C. Joseph Thiessen